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| 12:58pm 08/02/2006 |
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mood:  cranky
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( FOUR ) |
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| keeeping up with the plan |
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| 10:00pm 18/01/2006 |
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mood:  high
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today was decent. i'm not killing myself dieting wise because i've been working my ass of at the gym. yesterday i really overworked myself so i figured today i would take it "easy". i don't need to do that much on the elliptical every single day, i can have days where i don't do as much.
also, i smoked a little tonight but luckily that didn't make me too hungry.
( so my daily ) |
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| 11:48am 07/01/2006 |
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just incase anyone cares...
I AM IN LOVE. |
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| itunes thingy |
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| 04:29pm 03/01/2006 |
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How many songs?
1074
Sort by song title:
First: (Everything I Do) I Do It For You -Bryan Adams
Last: Zuz Mizad Lezad -Momi Levi
Sort by time:
First: Hail to the Chief... hahahaha
Last: Comedy (full CD) - Mitch Hedberg
Sort by album:
First: "Party Up" by DMX (...And There Was X)
Last: "Girl Like That" by Matchbook 20 (Yourself or Someone Like You)
Top Five Most Played Songs:
1. Reggaeton Latino (Remix) by Don Omar- 13x
2. Don't Stop Believing by Journey - 13x
3. Since U Been Gone by Kelly Clarkson - 12x
4. Out Tonight - Rent Movie Soundtrack - 11x
5. You Shook Me All Night Long by ACDC and Gasolina (Remix) by Daddy Yankee tied for 9x
First song that comes up on Shuffle:
"Imagine" by The Beatles
Find "sex", how many songs come up?
2
Find "death", how many songs come up?
0
Find "love", how many songs come up?
60 |
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| merry christmahanukwanzukah!! |
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| 02:50am 25/12/2005 |
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being jewish on christmas is so interesting. i haven't really been in the states for christmas in a few years. (last year i was in israel and the year before i left for st. croix early x-mas morning). today, on this lovely warm christmas eve, i went shopping (to loehmann's, of course) with my mom and my sister. then we went to the movies with my dad and brother and of course we all went out to dinner afterwards (but it wasn't chinese... it was japanese. close enough, right?). then i went over my grandparents at like 10:30 to help my grandmom make cookies.
tomorrow was supposed to be the movies and chinese food, but instead i have to go back to my grandparents and finish up the cookies with granny, and then i'm going with them to a christmas party. i'm really only going because it's their friends, who happen to be liz's aunt and uncle, so she will be there, and i'll get to hang out with her. then probably a movie after that, haha. so jewish. so wonderful.
plus, CHANUKAH starts tomorrow night! yay for dreidles and menorahs and presents and chocolate and latkes and sufganiot.
soo....
put on your yamacha, it's TIME FOR CHANUKAH!!! |
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| 11:19pm 11/12/2005 |
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i think it's love, but i have no idea.
is it love when his friend gets on the phone with you and talks to you for an hour just to tell you how much he loves you and how much he talks about you and how all this stuff that you've done has hurt him, even though he's hurtful himself? but he's only hurtful because he's jealous?
i know that didn't make sense. it's so hard when you love someone so much, but you don't really know if you can even trust what they say. they tell you they love you all the time when you don't even ask for it. sometimes they surprise you by making you feel so appreciated and loved and desired. but then other times they make you feel like you don't matter, they don't answer your phone calls, and they take back things they said that made you feel good.
i don't know what to think. i feel like i'm being pulled into 5 different directions by the same person. i have a final at 11:00 AM tomorrow, and i haven't even started studying. i barely know the material, and i have hours of studying to do. but i can't do it. my mind is on one thing right now and i don't know how to change that.
part of me thinks that you love me so much and that i'm one of the most important people in your life...
but the other part of me doubts everything and feels like you're just toying with my emotions. |
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| i only update with these things nowadays |
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| 02:31am 01/12/2005 |
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mood:  awake
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PUT AN X IN WHAT YOU'VE DONE
(x) smoked a cigarette
(x) smoked a cigar
(x) smoked anything else
(/) made out with a member of the same sex (i don't know if you would call it making out, but i've kissed)
() crashed a friend's car
() stolen a car
(x) been in love
(x) been dumped
(x) shoplifted
(x) been fired
() been in a fist fight
(x) snuck out of parent's house
(x) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
( ) been arrested
(x) made out with a stranger
(/) gone on a blind date kind of
(x) lied to a friend
() had a crush on a teacher
(x) skipped school
(x) slept with a co-worker but not when he was my co-worker
() seen someone die
(/) had/have a crush on one of your MYSPACE friends i wouldn't really call it a crush. and we're myspace friends. but that's not how we're friends.
() been to Canada
(x) been to Mexico
(x) been on a plane
() thrown up in a bar or want to make it a future goal
() purposely set a part of yourself on fire
(x) eaten Sushi
() been snowboarding
(x) met someone BECAUSE of myspace
(x) been moshing at a concert once at warped tour and it was awful
() been in an abusive relationship
(x) taken painkillers
(x) love someone right now
(x) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
(x) made a snow angel
(x) had a tea party
(x) flown a kite
(x) built a sand castle
(x) gone puddle jumping
(x) played dress up.
(x) jumped into a pile of leaves
(x) gone sledding
(x) cheated while playing a game
(x) been lonely
(x) fallen asleep at work/school
( ) used a fake ID
(x) watched the sun set
( ) felt an earthquake
(x) touched a snake
(x) been tickled
() been robbed
() robbed someone
(x) been misunderstood
(x) pet a reindeer/goat
(x) won a contest
(x) ran a red light
( ) been suspended from school
(x) had detention
() been in a car accident
() had braces
() eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night because you were high
(x) had deja vu
(x) danced in the moonlight well i've danced outside in the dark, and usually there is moonlight in the dark
(x) hated the way you look
(x) witnessed a crime
(x) pole danced
(x) questioned your heart
(x) been obsessed with post-it notes
(x) squished barefoot through the mud
(x) been lost
(x) been to the opposite side of the country
(x) swam in the ocean
(x) felt like dying
(x) cried yourself to sleep
(x) played cops and robbers
(x) recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers
(x) sung karaoke
() paid for a meal with only coins
(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(x) made prank phone calls
(x) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(x) caught a snowflake on your tongue
(x) kissed in the rain
() written a letter to Santa Claus
() been kissed under a mistletoe
(x) watched the sun set with someone you care about
(x) blown bubbles
() made a bonfire on the beach
(x) crashed a party
() have traveled more than 5 days with a car full of people
(x) gone rollerskating/blading
(x) had a wish come true
() humped a monkey
(x) worn pearls
(x) jumped off a bridge
(/) screamed "penis" in class probably
() ate dog food
() told a complete stranger you loved them
(x) sang in the shower
(x) have a little black dress
() fucked in a park
(x) fucked in the bathoom
(x) had a dream that you married someone or an animal
(x) glued your hand to something to my other hand
() got your toungue stuck to a pole
() kissed a fish
(x) worn the opposite sex's clothes
() been a cheerleader
(x) sat on a roof top
() had sex at a church.
(x) screamed at the top of your lungs
(x) done a one-handed cartwheel
(x) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
(x) stayed up all night
() didnt take a shower for a week
(x) pick and ate an apple right off the tree
(x) climbed a tree
() had a tree house
(x) are scared to watch scary movies alone
() believe in ghosts
(x) have more then 30 pairs of shoes
(x) worn a really ugly outfit to school
() gone streaking
() played ding-dong-ditch
(x) played chicken fight
(x) been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
(x) been told you're hot by a complete stranger
(x) broken a bone
(x) been easily amused
(x) caught a fish then ate it
() made porn
(x) caught a butterfly
(x) laughed so hard you cried
(x) cried so hard you laughed
(x) mooned/flashed someone
(x) had someone moon/flash you
(x) cheated on a test
(x) forgotten someone's name
(x) slept naked
() French braided someones hair
() gone skinny dipping
() been kicked out of your house |
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| one of these thingies |
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| 03:29pm 26/11/2005 |
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ANGER
1. Who did you last get angry with? My mother... i'm still angry with her
2. What is your weapon of choice? i don't know. it depends if i'm drunk or sober.
3. Would you hit a member of the opposite sex? yeah, of course.
4. How about of the same sex? eh, i dont know. probably, but it would get pretty ugly.
5. Who was the last person who got really angry at you? i don't know.
6. What is your pet peeve? i have a lot of them. stupid & ignorant people, guys who come on too strong, fake girls, people who get pissed off over the dumbest things, and a lot more things.
7. Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily? i let things go pretty easily. sometimes i'm too forgiving.
LUST
1. How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies/family)? eh. just a few.
2. How many people have seen YOU naked (not counting physicians/family)? uh, quite a few. but not necessarily in a sexual way.
3. Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of your
gender of choice during a normal conversation? yeah every now and then
4. What is your favorite body part on a person of your gender of
choice? arms and hands and neck
5. Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute? nah
6. Have you ever had to get tested for an STD or pregnancy? yes. i took a pregnancy test once and i had to get tested for STDs among other things before i went to israel.
7. Is love at first sight really lust? yeah, probably. i don't necessarily believe in love at first sight but i do believe in falling for someone right away and having it turn into love. |
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| thanksgiving breeeeaaakk! |
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| 12:41pm 23/11/2005 |
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mood:  ecstatic
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I'm so happy thanksgiving break is here. last night i went to the hookah bar with jill, jackie, sigs, mike, jon, ilana, sam, amanda, and we saw jordana & heather there too. it was sooo nice to meet up with all of them again and we had the best time there. after that we went to marlton diner and hung out there for a little while. i eventually got home at about 2, but i couldn't fall asleep.
TODAYYYYY... i'm supposed to be running errands/doing random things for my mother. plus i have to get my eyebrows waxed, go tanning, stop in at finizio's, and do laundry. then tonight... i'm going out to dinner with kelsey maddie and jillian and then we're going to see RENT!!!!! i am so unbelievably excited to see this movie. i've been waiting for months now, and finally the day is here, and no stupid people talking and singing in the movie theater are going to ruin it for me. i've actually been counting down for weeks now.
also, last night i got an interesting phone call from the biotch. we talked for awhile, and then he started to get really jealous and possessive, but i don't know how serious he was being. it sounded pretty serious though. i left poor jill inside cous cous by herself while i tried to get off the phone, but because i was unwilling to make certain promises, i couldn't. he wants me to not do anything with anybody until i go out to san francisco. it's not that i'm going to anyway, but i don't like the idea of not being able to, unless i'm in a relationship. he's trying to make me promise, but i haven't decided yet. telling me "i love you" doesn't work as well as it used to my dear. i'm thinking about it, though, and there's one thing that's stuck in my mind whenever i think about it: "anything worth having is worth waiting for" |
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| weekends at temple |
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| 02:34am 06/11/2005 |
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so, pretty much every weekend i go to parties at temple. sometimes they're fun, but... usually i get bored. we go to parties at around 10, and most nights i end up leaving parties around 12, maybe a little after. it's because i can't deal with just getting drunk and having nothing to do. just standing around and being drunk isn't fun for me. i need to be crazy and dance and do stuff. when i get drunk i get tired and horny. on friday nights i end up spending most of the night on the couch cause i'm exhausted. on saturday nights i go to frenchie's and have moments of fun every now and then. like tonight for example. we went to this one party and drank a little and just stood around. hardly any time had gone by and we decided to go to frenchie's. we went to frenchie's, and as usual, i did nothing. i just stood/sat there and observed other people. then at one point "don't stop believing" came on and i started dancing/singing like crazy. then as soon as that moment was over, i was bored again and just decided to leave. then i went back to the dorm, was bored some more, and then went to the courtyard with megan and eric. i had one of the funniest conversations with them and we actually had a lot of fun talking & playing a stupid clapping game w/ zach. and i was very drunk. i need to do that kind of stuff when i'm drunk, not go to stupid parties and just stand around and do nothing. i'm just fed up with stupid parties with too many people and NOTHING to do. |
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| hollerween |
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| 06:11pm 30/10/2005 |
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mood:  exhausted
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yeah, i haven't updated as soon as i expected to.
this weekend was full of halloween festivities. friday eric and i went to the gallery to do some last-minute costume shopping. i decided about 6 hours before we had to go to the party what i was dressing up as. i decided to be a cowgirl. it's actually what my sister is dressing up as, so it gave me the idea. i wasn't quite as slutty looking as some of the girls who enjoy using halloween as an excuse to dress up as a slut (which i don't really have a problem with actually), but i think i pulled the outfit off pretty well.
friday night we went to the "house" (jeff's) for their halloween party. it was much more crowded than usual, and the jungle juice and beer ran out pretty fast. i didn't really know anyone there, except the group i came with, which was fine, but i like when there's less people because then all my friends and i can sit down together and talk, instead of having to take turns sitting and not even talk to each other. i got drunk, but it didn't really kick in too much until we were already leaving the party. eric (who was a gorgeous prostitute) and i walked back to white hall around 1-something, and we hung around outside, smoked a few cigarettes, then went to bed.
saturday eric and i woke up and decided we wanted to get out and do something. so we went to south street. we went to cosi for lunch <3 and then walked around and went to the poster store and the tee-shirt store and stuff. it was fun =). then saturday night i went to frenchie's with the other friends (katie, julia, timmy, etc). i got a little too drunk at that one, i think. i seem to be a magnet for gay men, because i started talking to katie's friend chris, and i swear the kid fell in love with me on the spot. he was like "OMG you are my new best friend", etc. so that was interesting. i got a hickey from him later, which was a decision i really regret now considering it's huge and really painful. i also got a clown's make-up all over my chest, but i promise i have a good excuse for that one.
that's about it. today i went home to take calendar pics w/ my family & watch the eagles game. i'll be back soon. |
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| well.. |
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| 11:27pm 11/10/2005 |
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mood:  giddy
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it's my birthday today. another year older... i'm actually 20 today! it really doesn't feel like it, but maybe that's because i'm only a freshman in college! it was a nice birthday... and i got a lot of great b-day messages from people.
tonight i went out to dinner with my parents, and they bought me a digital camera! thanks mommy & daddy i love you!
tomorrow night is erev yom kippur/b-day dinner w/ the whole family/grandparents. thursday is yom kippur so obviously no b-day celebrating. friday is just time hanging out at home, but then some late night hookah fun with megan and jess who are sleeping over after the concert!
saturday night though... THE GIRLS ARE COMING IN TO CELEBRATE!! 3 of my favorite girls in the world... jillian, kelsey, and maddie (and maybe sar) are coming in to dine ;-) and party with me for the big 2-0. yeah, it's a little belated, but better late than never!
anyway, i'm not a teenager anymore, so it's time to start acting like a human. |
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| 01:30am 07/10/2005 |
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"i love you too" .... ahhhh such wonderful words. |
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| L'shana Tovah! |
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| 04:37pm 06/10/2005 |
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Happy new year... i wish everyone a sweet new year full of health, joy, and GOOD FORTUNE!
**annual new years reflections/thoughts to be posted on yom kippur** |
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| 11:59pm 24/09/2005 |
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mood:  worried
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update later.
i'm numb right now.
i love you and you're always on my mind. |
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| 02:10am 18/09/2005 |
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i pretty much had a breakdown tonight. i don't know where my life is taking me. i can only relate to what i know, and the only think i know that makes me happy is that kibbutz, with the most amazing people i have ever met. it was the only time i was truly happy in my life, and that is what i know. my mother told me i could do anything that i wanted to. i can go anywhere i want to. i don't want to be here, i don't want to be home, and i don't even know if i want to go back to israel. i don't know what will make me happy. i know being back there won't make me happy because it won't be the same. all i know is that the only thing that will make me happy i can't have. the only people that make me happy i can't see.
i did something in my life that was incredible. it was the only time i was TRULY happy. it changed my life forever... and i almost wish i hadn't done it. |
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| 02:45am 17/09/2005 |
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mood:  pensive
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tonight was beautiful and weird.
drank a lot. danced a lot with wonderful people (slutted it up like a maniac with my favorite boys who like boys), deleted sam out of my phone, deleted nick out of my phone, had a BLAST, heard a song that made me sad and cried a little because of who/what i missed, talked to my favorite person in the whole entire world (phone calls from/to australia are rare and wonderful), exchanged drunken "i love yous" with my favorite people at temple, smoked way too many cigarettes, saw amanda danielle fucking ross!, took way too much midol, was the official lap dance receiver, and laughed my ass off because of crazy ryan antics.
semi-drunken LJ posts are great, especially when you get to read them the next day and laugh at yourself for being so corny.
tomorrow... taking the boys (jay ryan eric) to cherry hill to do shopping and meet the fam. yay for buying bras (with NO sales tax i might add) & filling up my tank with $2.99 gas that i dont have to pump myself! |
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| 11:22am 11/09/2005 |
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it's september 11th.
today, we should reflect back to the tragedies of this day 4 years ago & not only think about where we were when we heard, or how it affected us, but we should also keep in mind the families of the victims, the witnesses, and the way our country changed forever. the soulless terrorists that took 3000 lives should never be forgiven, and even though our government might not give a fuck about them or truly look for justice, in my mind they are our worst enemies and the most heartless, evil people on this entire planet.
the new york skyline has changed forever. america has changed forever. the world has changed forever. we are now a fearful country and our right to independence has been challenged.
never forget. |
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| wow life. |
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| 05:03am 18/08/2005 |
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mood: awake
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i really love jenna. i love having someone in my life who is so much like a little sister, yet someone who is so wise and so mature at 16. i see so much of myself in her, and not even of myself at 16, but myself now. i feel like she is a younger version of the way i am now. i can actually talk to her about mature things, but i still see so much of the 16 year-old in her, which i love. we are so similar in our beliefs, our actions, and our ways of handling things, it's almost scary. even our guy situations are similar... not even the guy situations... the GUYS themselves. our guy problems are almost the same, and so are the problems "our guys" have. jenna - you're truly like my little sister and our age difference just makes us closer. i learn so much from you, partly because you remind me of what it's like to still be young and not get caught up in "real life" too much (i.e. being engaged** and feeling like i've had too many life experiences for my age). i love you, don't grow up too fast, and know that i'm always here for you.
p.s. i wrote that because i feel like our 3-hour long conversation tonight deserved some recognition considering we both came to incredible realizations and revelations about ourselves and other people.
......
life is starting to get crazy. i really haven't done much this summer... when jenna wasn't at psu and i wasn't in mexico we have been spending a lot of time together, i've seen kelsey and maddie a few times each, and i practically live at jill's house (especially on mtv reality tv nights!)... it's been nice though... i've been spending a lot of time with the girls that make me happy (and of course the guys every now and then too). jill and i have been through everything together this summer and jackie and i have become pretty good friends also which is super.
tonight i went to the charthouse (jill's work) with jillian and trish. that was fun... we got dressed up, hit the city, and treated ourselves to a nice, expensive dinner (50% off but still expensive!). then we went to the guys' friend jessie's house and hung out with the guys, amy, ilana, etc. came back to my house and eventually smoked hookah after it took me forever to find a freaking coal. oops, i ran out.
WORK IS ALMOST OVER!!! ahhhh... i don't know whether i'm happy or sad. actually, i do. i'm happy that i don't have to work anymore, but i'm sad because i really do like the job, and i won't be making money anymore (coming home with cash in my hand EVERYDAY was pretty fuckin' awesome).
in conclusion to this all, the summer is almost over and i'm a bit overwhelmed. looking back, i had a pretty good summer... a very chill summer. the home part of summer was so-so... quite uneventful, but spending time with people who are important to me was pretty great. mexico was insane and wonderful and that was a perfect way to "start off" summer... at least the "real" summer.
there were a lot of things i did on a regular basis this summer... lots of unhealthy tanning, beach days, smoking hookah (i'm now out of coals and i only have strawberry nargela and some yucky mango that tastes like caca), MTV reality shows, tv in general, going to sleep way too late, eating too much food and getting kinda fat, driving and wasting very expensive gas, waiting 12 tables at a time at finizio's, being quite non-sexual and uninterested, obsessing over eagles drama, getting in stupid unnecessary and pathetic arguments with my siblings, pissing my mom off, buying way too much jewelry, not drinking nearly enough alcohol, making and receiving an unhealthy amount of calls to/from "san diego", getting rid of "demons" from my past, figuring out who my true friends are and realizing that i can never let them go
**i am not actually engaged. i hate to be inside-jokish but certain people reading this will know what i'm referring to and understand that it's a joke taken out of context. |
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lucyjap's journal